Go Through Rather Than Avoid

For the first time since I've started working on mandalas, I begin to question myself with one of the world's most unavoidable question, "Now what?"

My friends tell me that I have an Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), at first I would disagree and go through lengthy debates. Later on it was like, *sigh* "you're right." The photo of the mandala on top signified my resolve to just continue doing it, even when questions about its meaning bother me so much. Actually, I believe there are a lot of people like me who go about doing things and questioning its meaning while in the process of doing. And then, lose sight after. I'm not like the horse with its blinds. I can only focus for a little time. Only that, I'm aware of it; and the creation of mandalas pointed that out to me.

Now, I'm somehow aware of the points when I jump from one rope to another. It's not easy to see things through but I now begin to internalize the adage, 'go through rather than avoid.' The lesson I learned from this mandala is: if you're tired, rest and recover. But don't complain because you alone hold the pen in the creation of your mandala. Stop acting like you have no idea what is going on. You hold the pen so you decide.

Almost the same with life.

The dots and patterns in the mandala almost signify as the days in our lives. When you look at it, you might be tempted to think that all the points are the same. But actually, no two points are the same. Same with life, no two minutes are the same.

As I was coming up with this mandala, for some reasons, I had no interest in other colors and I used only the white pens except for the center part. I regretted using some greens on that area but later, it dawned on me that the creation signified part of my stubbornness, violating even my own personal agreement with myself to just use white.

Still, the outcome is heavenly. As my teacher Oruha says, "A mandala is beautiful as it is."